2-4-20 - “I’m ready for happy hour now!!!!”
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It’s our fourth day in the Amazon. And outside of a few minor bug stings here and there, we are surviving and thriving here in the Amazon. It’s incredibly pleasant despite 80 percent humidity as we sweat out buckets of toxins from our bodies on our jungle walks. Despite futile attempts, our clothes don’t dry and the electronics start acting a bit fruity. Not to worry, the incredibly customer-service oriented La Selva has a dry box.
For this morning’s expedition, we are mixing it up and going to visit a local Ketchuan indigenous people’s community village. The Quetchuan people in Peru are descendants of the Inca people. When Francisco del Orellana came to explore the Amazon, he took several thousand Inca’s as slaves. Many of them escaped into the Amazon and thus their descendants in Ecuador are called Ketchuan people (Peru is a Qu and Ecuador is a K).
We need to back track to the river and take a boat upriver. On the way we stop at a Parrot Clay Lick. This is a section of clay cliffs along the river where we see hundreds if not a thousand parrots flying, squawking, eating and sitting. Did you know parrots lick clay to remove toxins from their bodies? This place has a special type of clay that does the trick. They visit here a couple times a week. After we check out four species of parrots at a clay lick on the river, we motor-canoe on to the indigenous communities peppered on the Napo River.
A group of 20 Ketchuan women from this village, Bilchi, set up this eco-tourism opportunity called Project Mandi Wasi for the area lodge guests to experience the local life. As soon as we arrive, we see school kids with backpacks finishing their two hour walk along the riverbank to school. Rain or shine. We are treated Wayusa tea
While there we see a few buildings - some built by oil companies to “encourage” residents to give them easements for drilling oil in return — including their schoolhouses, a community clinic and a health clinic. The community consists of 250 people, 66 of which are children. This is one community that is steadfastly trying to maintain the rainforest and not cave into the pressures from the government owned oil companies. Yet they are fighting a hard battle (see suggested Vox article below). Yelena our guide leads us carrying her machete - a usual device for hacking through the rainforest, protecting oneself and even tilling the soil. Just like our local guide Dario, Yelena has hers with her as a constant companion anywhere she walks.
We learn the few plants they can cultivate here - including cacao and plantains - and try our hand at poison blow darting, a practice no longer used to hunt the monkeys and wildlife. Yelena sets up a coconut on a pole as our target. The blow dart gun is big, long and heavy. Most of us heave and blow and the dart ends up somewhere in the woods, a mile off-target. But then Justin steps up and blows. The dart hits in the front of the skinny pole holding the coconut, a harder target than the coconut. Then Corey steps up and blows and boom, he nails the coconut. Justin tries one more time and the darts sticks in the same exact spot as his first one on the pole. Yelena says she has never seen that before. Kyle jokes that they should start a reality TV series called “The monkey hunting poison blow dart cousins.”
But Kyle’s highlight was when they brought us samples of the indigenous foods they eat. Yelena holds out a stick of seven sack-like looking things roasting over the fire. She explains these are roasted beetle larvae that they will be serving us when they are done along with some other non-threatening food. She says to just pop the whole thing in our month and chew away. A couple of the kids look a little ill starting at the beetle larvae.
When the plate of food is served, Kyle assumes that Leanne and at least some of the kids will be consuming the beetle larvae, so he decides to just go for it before he changes his mind. He chomps and chews away and later says it kind of tasted like bacon but chewing on the heads make these loud crunching sounds that didn’t help get it down. Kyle sticks out his tongue and exclaims “I did it!” This is something that would have been unthinkable a year ago but this trip has truly expanding his food palate.
He looks at Leanne who is starting back at him in complete and utter disbelief. “Go, pop it in and get it over with,” Kyle says. Leanne takes a tiny nibble on the outside and says, “that’s enough, I did it.” Now Kyle is the one staring in disbelief. Leanne likes to give Kyle a hard time about not eating anything because he’s so picky.
A Survivor-like challenge right here in the rainforest and Kyle is declared the winner giving him an enormously proud moment. Kyle was the only one brave enough to swallow it whole. He was beaming — especially when he see that the rest of us just took a nibble.
Back at the lodge, Leanne does a Yoga class while Kyle swims in the lake and the kids recover. Kyle swims out into the middle of the lake continually diving down in search of caiman crocs. Leanne is observing him while doing her outdoor yoga class thinking that the humidity of the Amazon must be seriously fogging his common sense.
Justin has borrowed the powerful spotting scope and he and Kyle spend an hour before lunch birdwatching on the 3rd floor observation deck of the lodge. Justin loves the trick of taking the iPhone picture through the scope to get a mega close picture of the birds. Justin has a real knack for birdwatching, spotting about 8 birds and getting pictures during a time (mid-day) when the birds are supposed to be least active. Kyle says that with his eyesight, the birds pretty much had to land on the roof a couple feet away before he could see them.
The afternoon / evening expedition is the last of our Amazon trip. The canoe ride and jungle trek prove to be yet another wild adventure. We take a short canoe ride to a trail that we haven’t explored yet. On the trail, we run into quicksand, yes, actual quicksand exacerbated by yesterday’s heavy rains. Dan tells us to be careful and remember not to grab any trees due the ever-vicious bullet ants even if you are falling into quicksand. Leanne is in the rear of the single file line and the message is relayed back to her but she doesn’t believe it. The entire line halts and Leanne comes forward and confirms with Dan that yes, it is indeed quicksand. “So, if we are falling, we have to choose between dying in the quicksand or by being mauled to death by the bullet ants?” she asks horrified.
We navigate the quicksand by walking lightly tightrope-style over two skinny, long logs laid between dry patches of land. The second patch of quicksand wasn’t as easily spotted and Leanne slips and finds her left boot sinking into the quicksand. “Ack! Is this quicksand too?” She yells towards the guides in front of our line. She’s lagging behind 15 feet back as the caboose once again. No one hears her so she repeats herself. “IS THIS QUICKSAND?” screams Leanne now 3 inches deeper. “Yes!” says one teen non-chalantly back towards her like a game of telephone. She grabs a nearby pole and jolts her boot out with all her might, whipping her boot nearly off her foot. “Thanks a lot for the heads up, all” shares a shaken up but sarcastic Leanne, remembering those 1960s cartoons where characters slip down into quicksand even faster. “Is it time for happy hour yet?” she wails.
We continue to walk through the ever more darkening rainforest, the sun losing its grip on the green leaves thus inviting the nocturnal critters to start their evening feasting.
“There’s a snake!” exclaims an excited Justin. Apparently the head guide was a bit embarrassed neither guide saw it first. They constantly scan the area for these dangers. Yet this one alluded their super sharp senses as the green three feet long snake has slithered right onto the walking path. In front of an excited Justin. He picked the right turisto and Justin manages to get the only photo. Of course now Kyle and the rest of the crew are now tracking the snake slithering away further into the bush trying to get a picture.
“Ack, a snake!” screeches Leanne in fear. Dan figures out what’s going on and sees the snake and reacts strongly telling us all to take three steps back while ensuring not to knock each other over and check that we are step into clear trail. Basically, he is telling us to get the hell out of here while trying not to panic us. Once we have cleared the area, Dan tells us that was the highly venomous Fer-de-lance pit viper snake which is responsible for the most human deaths in all of South America.
He tells us the lodge does not even carry anti-venom because each anti-venom is specific to a specific snake and the risk of misidentification of snakes resulting in the wrong anti-venom being administered is higher than the risk of the snakes. Normally, we give Leanne a hard time when she is scared by one of the creatures, but this time, she was absolutely spot on.
Dan later tells us that the snakes sometimes they come out after the fourth person walks by. Leanne now realizes she’s always after the fourth person in our hiking line and perhaps this little tidbit should have been in the safety briefing? “Oh geez! Next time, everyone better run away from not towards the snake,” Leanne tells the rest of the crew. “Isn’t it time for Happy Hour yet?” wails Leanne who has had more than her daily adventure quotient filled.
We head back towards the lake as the dusk descends over the rainforest. Out comes the flashlights. Dan is showing us a 300 year old kapok tree. He flashes his light on the tree next to Leanne and illuminates a group of frenzied bullet ants trying to figure out how to bridge the three inch between the tree and Leanne so they can devour her for dinner. Leanne jumps back and screams and then wails, “I want to go to happy hour!!!”
As we approach the lake, Dan shines his light on a hideously grotesque creature thing and tells us it is a tail-less whip scorpion. Leanne takes one look at the thing and screams “Happy hour started and we’re missing it to see everything that is going to kill us. Happy hour, now!!!”
We reach the canoe but have ride back across the lake in the pitch black to get to the lodge. In the canoe, Kyle throws one more challenge out to our British turned Ecuadorian guide. “You know Dan, the only thing I wanted to see that haven’t yet was a Cayman,” Kyle gently hints. The Cayman is a crocodile that can grow up to 12 feet in these Amazonian waters.
Within 30 seconds, Dan has his flashlight beamed across the pond smack dab at the eyes of — yes, a black Cayman crocodile. The flashlight reflects off his yellow eyes. Well, actually there are two of them. Ok good, check, thinks Leanne, perhaps we are close enough to the lodge to text in my pina colada order now. So she is not happy when Kyle asks Dan if we can enter the alcove where they are to get a closer look. Dan starts paddling directly towards the gator’s eyes. Wrong Way! Oh no, we are getting closer, thinks Leanne. Is there no liability risk here in Ecuador?
Now keep in mind this canoe is all of 3 inches above the water line. And it doesn’t look like it could stand a chance up against an irate crocodile annoyed by a human’s flashlight shining in his eye either. The canoe slowly cruises barely above the water line; it just feels like a Hollywood scene immediately preceding when tourists turn into crocodile tartare. Despite getting within a foot of this gator’s last known location, we seem to have lost sight of him completely.
Whew, thinks Leanne. “Happy hour?” Leanne throws out. “Do you really want to go back to the lodge now?” shares Dan in complete disbelief. After five hints at happy hour, he’s catching on, well sort of. “Well, a few minutes more ...” acquiesces Leanne not wanting to offend him. Dan spots a second Cayman; this time in the middle of the lake and bee-lines the canoe towards this lucky chap. We all sit in the canoe about 15 feet from this one and slowly approach him. “He looks hungry,” states Leanne while Kyle wonders aloud how she can tell. “Don’t you see the way he’s looking at us?” Yes, we can see because we are now only about 5 feet from his head still above the water staring at us.
We snap photos but the canoe is rocking and lighting poor so they are not coming out great. We stay there 10 minutes trying to get the optimal picture and it feels more like 2 scary hours to Leanne. “I WANT TO GO TO HAPPY HOUR NOW,” Leanne screams as she’s had enough after the quicksand, deadly pit viper snake, gangs of bullet ants, scorpions and now crocodiles. Dan agrees and we finally make the move towards the dock.
Our goodbye dinner is great but not nearly as memorable as possibly us becoming some reptiles’ dinner. Leanne remarks that her Happy Hour Pina Colada is the best she’s ever made and is made particularly special by the fact that she’s alive to enjoy it after this afternoon. We say goodbye to our new friends and our guide Dan and contemplate our remarkable experience in the Amazon Rainforest. Justin has borrowed the spotting scope and shows us the moon as up close as we’ve ever seen it live. We can make out the craters in detail. A perfect way to end the perfect Amazon trip.
